worse

Is it less scary, more serene, more beautiful, more accepting, the wrong way 'round?
It's getting worse again.
The reading, the guilt. The suppression, the obsession. The lack of a motive. The unwillingness of the pursuer. The freedom is coming but at the same time, slimming and going. It won't be here for much longer, in at least one way or another. Or possibly many.
Thoughts being brought on by 'myself' or it's counterpart. To separate or to include? I deliberate.
What does the near future hold? What does the far? To interpret, to seek, to find, to achieve, to battle, to fight, to win. I need something to sing for again.
Where does the heart lead, and where will it eventually lie once it has stopped beating? For good. To savour moments. But to increasingly fear; thoughts, smells, sounds and senses. Taste being the worst of those fears.
To taste is to fail. Failing means losing. But it should mean winning. Winning the fight. Facing and conquering the demon. Smother thee. It's a her. It's an it. It's a she. But is it me?
I wish I could photograph this space in time. My mind, constantly ticking. It's wonders and it's hates. It's streamline negativity and it's constant debates.
A time has come to look straight into the eye of the devil. The power is within us all. Or is it?
It can feel impossible.
What I want cannot be trusted. Trust is a life skill. It is important. It is major, and yet it is essential. Who to trust? Who to tell?
Do we even trust ourselves, our own, inner-being?
Because what really are we all? Are we human? Or are we dancers? Or liars, or cheaters or twits?
The world goes 'round with shit spreading like a new found plague, waiting to discover, defeat, and destroy. How can we be responsible for fixing a situation such as this, when we are constantly in opposition to those full of fight, anger and hatred? It may not be possible. We may lose.
And it's the same inside. How it is to be done remains a mystery.
Is life even worth fighting for?
Read the tabloids. Watch the screens. We are under the influence of the technological modern age, and yet this in itself is manipulated by those with power. Those in control.
Control.